The Four Horsemen--Stonewalling.

Congratulations!  You've made it through all three horseman and are about the finish off with the last one--stonewalling!

Stonewalling occurs when a partner becomes so physically and emotionally flooded with an argument/criticism/contempt/defensiveness that they emotionally shut down.  They completely withdraw from the situation, stop reacting to you, and disengage from the conflict.  Obviously, this can be extremely frustrating because having someone completely ignore your efforts to solve problems is difficult.

Stonewalling can become an understandable response, however, after some time of constant criticism and contempt.  Sometimes we just get so flooded with emotions we literally cannot think straight and need to stop the argument right there because we can't go on.  Sometimes people call this "seeing red".

Once you've shut down or disengaged from your partner, however, your marriage loses its binding quality of togetherness and perseverance.  It's dangerous to continue to stonewall because emotional engagement becomes less and less frequent, and eventually, things fall apart.

Stonewalling is a simple concept, but being self-aware enough to realize when you're doing it is the first step to being able to prevent it from happening.

Stay tuned to read about how to fix the communication issues the 4 horsemen cause in your relationships!